Remember when you were mad at me and we didnt' speak?
when was this?
whenever ur mad at me
it was cuz I was in a really vulnerable time and need support and you weren't there
I'm curious. Coz I think I don't get along with girls sometimes.
right ok. I remember that.
you're there now
i am I guess, but i mean
I think i am too insensitive sometimes
and self centered.
I don't think about the other person.
what do u think
coz I don't want to be an ass
I don't know I think alot of guys are like that, i've discovered
it's the lack of the nuturing side
I think I'm mature, but I think i'm stuck, not so fluid in my thought/emotional process
yes. I know. so it's kinda an issue.
but yes I think it's a learned behavior for guys
even GREG freezes up when I need support
I think he just doesn't know what to do
I think I do.
i'm just more combatitive
but to be a caring supportive individual i think you have to learn the nuturing behavior
and I challenge.
but if someone's vulnerable
why combat that
u know how I push people's buttons?
and I know I'm doing it.
hmm no I actually haven't witnessed that
yeah u have
u've been a victim to it
hmm why do you keep doing it? if you know you do
I think it's the acting thign, like i like the drama
i feel alive.
it's not ok
time to grow out of it
) that's all it is
remember I used to liek mouthing off
well easier said then
but it's not constructive so i made strides to change
and i realized it hurts people
and really doesn't solve the issue
there's ways of addressing it that leaves everyone in a positive mood
and I want to be the person taht makes people feel good. not the reverse
there's no pride in making someone feel bad
I think recently i've surrounded myself with alot of really good, KIND people
and I really admired them
so for me, i wanted to emminate that
MAITAI was like that.
and I want that in my life too
it makes you feel good about yoruself
spread the love
not the fucking hate
spread it all around
i'm gonna write that one my wall.
i feel horrible
you can always fix it
i just upset my friend soo much and my other friends are upset too
all it takes is an apology
but I have to stop pushing people's buttons
or it will happen again
and it shows strength of character to apologize
and they'll love youfor it
they know you have a big heart
you're dramatic but we all know you care
i do care.
i am SO dramatic
it's less now of course.
yeah I noticed. MUCH less
she's requested, through a friend to NOT talk to her
i'll call her this weekend I guess
she doesn't want you to talk to her?
no she wants to be left alone
I need to get over myself
i mean in certain ways
well I understand
you had to overcome a few obstacles
and at least. I think that's why you put up that shell
what do u mean shell
i'm going to see prodigy tonight
hope it's good
I love prodigy
well the fuck everything i'm doing my own thing shell
yeah, it's ego
I think its' a shell so you won't be judged
and being and actor
judged ALL the TIME
yoiu didn't have it ini high school
it kinda developed somewhere in college
u think college made me this way?
I think it's also that we as actors always face and "go there"
and being judged when you audition
I've only had to do it once and I hated it. makes you feel insecure
it's horribly insecure.
yes and no
so are u
the industry's stupid
well, i know that
that's why I want out
that's good. I think it's the smartest thing to do
i can't wait to do theater not for profit
yeah. THAT was fun
I miss musicals
no more fucking commercials, mags bullshit
tho, cool thing, i'm in three next month
Esquire, GQ, Alive
do you save all the media you appear in?
yeah, when i can get my hands on it
i'll have fun things to look at wen i'm older
and show my kids
yeah i totally like that aspect of it
look, dad was actually hot
look at daddy looking all hot
trust me taht was considered hot back then
I love it
i wonnder what will be hot "in the year 2000"
craig and i talked about having kids too!!
it was crazy adultish talk
yeah, MAITAI and I...
i'm trying to not write crazy dramatic emails anymore
it's fine line between passionate and dramatic
but passionate is good
yes. i know
mine are usually sprinkled with a little humor
to lighten it
humor is good
someone just told me that I was stealing cable
I don't even watch TV.
some one called and said that?
no somoene came in
and looked around and asked my how much my rent was.