Recent conversations.

A recent conversation I had with a friend. Names changed for the protection of the public at large.

Remember when you were mad at me and we didnt' speak?
when was this?
in college
whenever ur mad at me
it was cuz I was in a really vulnerable time and need support and you weren't there
I'm curious. Coz I think I don't get along with girls sometimes.
right ok. I remember that.
ok
LOL
you're there now
no no
i am I guess, but i mean
I think i am too insensitive sometimes
and self centered.
I don't think about the other person.
....
what do u think
coz I don't want to be an ass
I don't know I think alot of guys are like that, i've discovered
it's the lack of the nuturing side
I think I'm mature, but I think i'm stuck, not so fluid in my thought/emotional process
yes. I know. so it's kinda an issue.
but yes I think it's a learned behavior for guys
what is
the nuturing
hm
even GREG freezes up when I need support
I think he just doesn't know what to do
I think I do.
i'm just more combatitive
i think
but to be a caring supportive individual i think you have to learn the nuturing behavior
and I challenge.
LOL
maybe
OK.
like what?
but if someone's vulnerable
why combat that
I know
u know how I push people's buttons?
hah yes
like emotionally
and I know I'm doing it.
hmm no I actually haven't witnessed that
yeah u have
u've been a victim to it
hmm why do you keep doing it? if you know you do
I think it's the acting thign, like i like the drama
i feel alive.
LOL
it's not ok
right?
time to grow out of it
yes.
) that's all it is
remember I used to liek mouthing off
well easier said then
YES
lol
love it
but it's not constructive so i made strides to change
how?
and i realized it hurts people
and really doesn't solve the issue
there's ways of addressing it that leaves everyone in a positive mood
and I want to be the person taht makes people feel good. not the reverse
there's no pride in making someone feel bad
yeah.
I think recently i've surrounded myself with alot of really good, KIND people
and I really admired them
so for me, i wanted to emminate that
yeah.
MAITAI was like that.
is
and I want that in my life too
it makes you feel good about yoruself
yes.
spread the love
not the fucking hate
LOL yup
spread it all around
ok.
i'm gonna write that one my wall.
)
on
.....
i feel horrible
why?
you can always fix it
i just upset my friend soo much and my other friends are upset too
I know.
all it takes is an apology
but I have to stop pushing people's buttons
or it will happen again
and it shows strength of character to apologize
yes.
and they'll love youfor it
they know you have a big heart
you're dramatic but we all know you care
i do care.
i am SO dramatic
it's less now of course.
yeah I noticed. MUCH less
yes.
so.
she's requested, through a friend to NOT talk to her
i'll call her this weekend I guess
she doesn't want you to talk to her?
awww
no she wants to be left alone
gotcha
yeah
I need to get over myself
I think
i mean in certain ways
lol
well I understand
you had to overcome a few obstacles
hm
and at least. I think that's why you put up that shell
wha tshell?
what do u mean shell
i'm going to see prodigy tonight
the band
hope it's good
NICE
I love prodigy
well the fuck everything i'm doing my own thing shell
OH
LOL
yeah, it's ego
I think its' a shell so you won't be judged
LOL
and pride
and being and actor
judged ALL the TIME
interestin
yes.
hm
yoiu didn't have it ini high school
hm
it kinda developed somewhere in college
u think college made me this way?
I think it's also that we as actors always face and "go there"
and being judged when you audition
hm.
I've only had to do it once and I hated it. makes you feel insecure
it's horribly insecure.
i'm insecure.
kinda
yes and no
somethings.
butyou're wonderful
hm
lol
so are u
the industry's stupid
thanks
well, i know that
that's why I want out
that's good. I think it's the smartest thing to do
i can't wait to do theater not for profit

yeah. THAT was fun
I miss musicals
no more fucking commercials, mags bullshit
(
BULLSHIT
tho, cool thing, i'm in three next month
Esquire, GQ, Alive
wow
nice
do you save all the media you appear in?
yeah, when i can get my hands on it
i'll have fun things to look at wen i'm older
LOL
and show my kids
yeah i totally like that aspect of it
look, dad was actually hot
look at daddy looking all hot
DEHDDY
trust me taht was considered hot back then
!
I know
HAHA
haha
I love it
how funny
i wonnder what will be hot "in the year 2000"
craig and i talked about having kids too!!
it was crazy adultish talk
yeah, MAITAI and I...
yep
i'm trying to not write crazy dramatic emails anymore
LOL
it's hard
it's fine line between passionate and dramatic
but passionate is good
yes. i know
mine are usually sprinkled with a little humor
to lighten it
humor is good
brb
hm
someone just told me that I was stealing cable
lol
I don't even watch TV.
that's weird
some one called and said that?
i know
no somoene came in
and looked around and asked my how much my rent was.
strange
LOL